It is interesting to me how luck seems to play such a large part in what happens to me and to others. I would like to think my hard work, work to gain intelligence, work to gain self-awareness, work to gain experience and just work to move forward may have planted some seed somewhere that I could harvest. However, the rain in my life doesn’t seem to be sprouting any seeds. I read a quote from Epictetus today, “In prosperity, it is very easy to find a friend; but in adversity, it is the most difficult of all things.” Why does my life feel like that now? Six months ago I was excited about my prospects. I’ve tried a bunch of things since then, things I was looking forward to and thought they were good opportunities. So why do I feel like adversity has set in and my optimism has been lost, lost some where in space.

I continue to hope that today or tomorrow things will change for me. I believe many people have this same hope. However, there is a nagging feeling in the back of my mind that is reminding me of my belief that this life is a test and is meant to be hard. I am not sure how I am supposed to be feeling? Should I relax , try to find the blessings that come to me everyday? or should I put my head down, pull up my collar and push forward into the rain?

It’s difficult every day to choose how to spend my time. Many things I choose seem not to be helping me forward after I finish the task it seems nothing was accomplished and not progress was made, only an experience that seems to make it harder to have hope in the future.

I am always a bit surprised at the lack of accomplishments during a break.  I always have a list of several things to do and I only get started on a couple and the rest get left undone.  For instance.  I wanted to read two books over the Thanksgiving break.  I took the whole week off too.  I spent two days baking rolls, that wasn’t on my list, they tasted good.  It’s pretty easy to make anything with white flour.  Amanda and her sisters were trying to order rolls from a couple of places, unfortunately they waited too long and none of the places they called had any capacity left.  So it became expedient for me to volunteer to make the rolls.  It consumed about 4 or 5 hours on two separate days.  Amanda was making stuff for Thanksgiving too so she was taking a bunch of time. 

I did get to read some of the two books I wanted to finish.  However, with a five-year-old it takes a lot of time trying to keep her occupied without putting her in front of the TV.  We visited the library and did some crafting.  We made snow flakes, built a snowman when it snowed. 

I also thinking about the 5 or 6 hours that were consumed with fixing the garage door.  Which sadly, I think will have to have the springs changed because the ones I purchased are too strong and pull the door up if it is not latched.  With will require a couple more hours of work.